Wednesday, May 3, 2017

This Is Your Life, Lois Lane!!

An evil scientist has erased Lois Lane's memories, because comics:

Don't worry--Kal-El has some really sketchy pseudo-science to save the day:


Well, it looks like we're along for the ride...

Man, that makes me want a "Lil' Lois" series so much...

Hmm...there's a lot to unpack on that page...

See, back in the day, Lois grew up on a farm, too!! So much for those "Smallville" cracks to Clark--she was trying to cover her own insecurity about being a rural girl in the big city!!

Plus, note that Lois' dad Sam wasn't always an asshole xenophobic traitorous general--just a farmer who smoked a pipe. I'm not sure why anyone thinks the current version is an improvement...

A "Friends & Boyfriends of Lois" series would probably be pretty good, too. Leonard Splatz--really?!?!

And then there's the untold tale from Lois' past that most needs telling:

And then she's all grown up!


And of course, she meets you-know-who...


And we get probably the creepiest way to describe the Lois/Superman relationship:

Barf!!

Anyway, that's Lois' (pre-Crisis) life.

You're welcome!

From Superman Family #206 (1981)

4 comments:

George Chambers said...

"I see... 713 attempts to find out Superman's secret identity, 541 attempts to trick him into marriage... good GOD, I'm a horrible person!"

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

Is that Donald Rumsfeld in the first panel?

snell said...

Rumsfeld did get around quite a bit in the 80s...

John Hennings said...

I'm a veteran and the son of a veteran with children of my own. At first, I appreciated John Byrne making Sam Lane military, because Byrne used it to explain how Lois learned to handle herself in a dangerous situation; her father had taught her. When later writers turned him into the AXTG you accurately describe, I felt like they'd suckered and slandered me, and I quickly became familiar with the feeling. If a military member or veteran appears in DC after 1990 and Chuck Dixon is not the writer, I estimate a 75% chance he's a heavy -- either the straight-up villain of the piece or someone else who opposes the hero to complicate his life. He or she is also generally close-minded, bigoted, belligerent, rude, and downright mean. The average veteran or active military member portrayed in DC Comics is motivated by either self-interest or a misguided, toxic nationalism that is to patriotism what violent stalker obsession is to love. I stopped reading DC altogether for years, partly because it was embarrassing to pay money to be insulted. Of course, it may have gotten better after the nineties. I've read only a smattering of their products in the years since then.