Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Golden Age Idol--Hip Knox!!

There hare some "heroes" from the Golden Age who never made it in the modern day because...well, because the were pretty big dickweeds.

Take, for example, this guy:

Now, Hip Knox had one of those standard Golden Age one paragraph origins. Bit this one featured some....unusual punctuation:

"A famous....scientist"?? What, you're not sure he was a scientist? Something more? Something else??!?

Hip had his own Lex Luthor:

McFadden never got a first name But maybe, just maybe, he was justified in his hatred of Hip Knox.

But first, we start our little tale with an abject lesson in why secret identities are a good thing:

Yeah, they just walk into his crib while he's asleep (in costume!!).

Ah, the convenient anti-hypnosis mask!!

We then find out that, even in 1940, villains needed to hear the "just shoot him, idiot!" speech:


So McFadden launches his "rocket plane." But A) he miscalculates, and the plane ends up over South America, and B) Hip gets loose. But how can Hip rescue himself on a plane without controls, and no one to hypnotize??

"Evil birds"?? "Evil birds"?!?!?


Fortunately, evil South American "birds of prey [sic]" understand English commands!

And asides from questionable physics and birds that look nothing like condors, this plan just might work.

Quiz: You know how the condors became endangered?


Answer: Because Hip Knox sacrificed "millions" of them to save his own skin.

Next, Hip gets to play "Great White God" to the "hostile jungle savages" rampant in the Andes...


I might have let this one pass...but really, Knox, did you have to command them to do all the work while you lounged in luxury??

Well, Hip Knox makes it back to civilization. Does he have McFadden arrested?? Does he punch his lights out? If only...



Ah, gratuitous (and multiple!!) public humiliation!! That should successfully change McFadden from his evil ways!!

Ahhh, no.

So, Hip Knox is a dickweed who makes species extinct, exploits natives, and is a real jerk when it comes to punishing his bad guys. Through in the lame costume, generic origin, and one-dimensional power, and I think we'll take a pass here on Golden Age Idol. How about you, Steven Tyler??

Uh, ok...

Hip Knox story from Superworld Comics #3 (1940). Steven Tyler in comics form is from Shadowman #19 (1993).

3 comments:

Lazarus Lupin said...

what a trip. Are you sure he's the hero? He's committed ecocide and psychological rape all in one story. Also what's with the helmet. Is that standard super hypnotist gear?

Obviously a story by a .....writer.

Lazarus Lupin
http://strangespanner.blogspot.com/
art and review

Perplexio said...

Note to Hip - Gnute Rockne wants his football helmet back!

Mark Engblom said...

...that, or Esther Williams wants her swim cap back!