Monday, November 23, 2009

Manic Monday--"This Is Not A Spineless Offer!"

Just to prove that middle-aged music executives weren't always clueless gumbies who didn't know how to communicate with the day's youth, here's a beauty of an ad from Deathlok #16 (1992):

You can click to embiggen (and see by crappy cut and paste job I did to scan a double page spread). But let me hit you with the gist.

Every month Warner Music would send you something called a "VHS video cassette" via the "U.S. Postal Service" containing 10 of something called "rock videos." And they'd only charge you $2.98 each (plus shipping and handling...shhh).

Plus, "up to 6 times a year," you'd receive "special video tapes" containing "cutting edge artists" in "your preferred musical interest." Also for just $2.98 each (plus inconsequential shipping and handling...shhh).

In other words, you'd be paying 54 bucks annually (plus shipping and handling, which would ad what, another 30-40 smackers onto the bill?) for VHS tapes of music videos you could watch for free on MTV (who, believe it or not, still showed some videos in those days...), and even tape for yourself if you were so inclined.

But really, they're not trying to con the youth market: look at all the ridiculously inappropriate use of adjectives:


How rad!! That's EXACTLY how kids talked then!! There's nothing at all phony or condescending about that!! It's all about faux-attitude!! Rock on!!

Well, at least they got one thing right:

Damn straight...no way I'm cutting up my Deathlok!!


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