Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday Night Fights--Daddy Long Legs Style

There was a time, in the misty past, when Jessica Drew was not really the Queen of the Skrulls. When she wasn't a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who was really a Hydra agent who was really working for Nick Fury against both groups as an whiny triple agent (or was it quadruple??). An era before she was a New Avenger, or a Mighty Avenger.

She was just Spider-Woman, private investigator, reluctant quasi-superhero, and someone who ran into the most macabre collection of oddballs in Marvel history. Under separate runs by Mark Greunwald and Michael Fleischer, Jessica came up against nutbars like the Needle, Gypsy Moth, the Brothers Grimm, Waxman, and the Cult of Kali (well before Temple of Doom, thank you), not to mention obscure Marvel characters as the Enforcer, Nekra, Werewolf by Night, and the Shroud. It was a fun book.

But a lot of people forget about the last-gasp, post-Chris Claremont run of Ann Nocenti and Brian Postman. Take, for an example, Daddy Longlegs. Ramsey Kole, a dancer, goes to visit Bill Foster (before he was killed just so Marvel could claim Civil War was "edgy" and "dangerous"). Ramsey, it turns out, has a real need for Foster's re-tooled growth formula:

Man, dance is all about the politics!Ahh, yes, the dance world is a jungle. Kole won't take "no" for an answer, and takes down Foster almost as fast as clone Thor did:

Wasn't that a Steve Martin album?Well, Kole soon learns, you shouldn't mix and match untested biochemical formulas, should you?

You took a Goliath formula, and are surprised you got big??Just how big is he??

Mr Dangerfield, just how big is the president??EEK!!

Anyway, Kole decides to use his new long-leggediness to break into the performance of an overrated pop dance troupe and show the public what a real dancer can do. Check out the creepy art (and the creepier cultural elitism):

Anything people like=badLong story short: Spider-Woman get involved, he refuses to be reasoned with, and fisticuffs result. But, to her chagrin, his gangliness and dancer's reflexes make him impossible to hit:

STEEEE-rike One!But he makes the mistake of getting in too close, so she delivers the Chris Sims Special...

They always fall for the face kick......followed by a full body venom blast...

Even in L.A., this is weird...and a full page put down:

Using your adhesive powers to crawl up people could have interesting applications in the budoir...As far as I know, Daddy Longlegs made only one other cameo appearance 3 issues later, and was cured in an Iron Man annual some years later. Too bad, because he was kind of cool.

Not as cool as Bahlactus, of course...

Jessica Drew before Bendis got his hands on her in Spider-Woman #47 (1982)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cured offscreen, if we're talking the same Iron Man annual, although Malus claimed it was him that Ramsey went to if I recall correctly. But I am missing big pieces of Marvel history.

snell said...

Well, in flashback at least (and that if you trust the nutsy Dr. Malus...), but you did see the cured Ramsey.