Friday, February 29, 2008

Friday Night Fights--Parallax Style!!

For tonight's Friday Night Fights, let's step back to the halcyon days of 1994, for an all-splash page special.

The scene: right after Emerald Twilight, we have an insane Hal Jordan (editors note: he wasn't insane, he was possessed by a demonic parasitic entity who was the sentient embodiment of fear!)) (author's note: yeah, right, whatever).

Anyway, Hal Jordan is on a rampage to steal all the power he can so he can "change the universe" and "set things right." He's beaten the crap out of a number of DC's most powerful heroes, but one is still kicking: Guy Gardner, wielding Sinestro's ring. Will it be enough?

Beau Smith and Mitch Byrd present the entire isssue in one and two-page splashes, so let's pick it up at "THOOM!"

First blow: FACE PLANT!!Now, when you're as powerful as Parallax is at this point, there's really only one response: hit Guy with an asteroid...

Uh-oh, we've got a mismatch!!...and then up the sound effects ante while debating political philosophy:

In Space, no one can hear you KA-THOOMAnd remember, kids: it's not Hal Jordan sounding completely unhinged here...it's the color yellow!

No fair going for a man's jewels!And since throwing a small planet at Guy wasn't enough, well, let's throw Guy at a planet!!

GLC Smackdown!!The finisher: the sucker punch from behind!

The donkey punch!!!So much for Warrior...Good thing we ret-conned away 100% of Hal Jordan's responsibility for all this. Hey, maybe next we can reveal that Peter Parker was possessed by an ancient entity when he let the thief escape, so he's really not at all responsible for Uncle Ben's death!!

All I know is, no fear entity could possess Bahlactus!!

Guy gets whooped, but not really by Hal Jordan, in Guy Gardner Warrior #21.

1 comment:

CaptainAverage said...

FWAZZABWAMM? Wow, a 3 syllable punch!