Monday, October 24, 2016

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--#TakeBackTheCostume!!

Steve Rogers has publicly announced that he is retiring as Captain America!

So what's the first thing to happen?

Idiots crawl out of the woodwork!

Heck, commercial enterprises are even trying to get in on the game!

Man, it looks like the U.S. government should have done a better job of trademarking the uniform and shield, eh?

From Tales Of Suspense #96 (1967)

Manic Monday Bonus--Kirk Didn't Invent Kirking Computers!!

We've talked before about the pop sci-fi practice of "Kirking" computers--using illogic or emotion or impossible questions to cause them to physically explode, ending the threat.

Hey, it's a nice conceit if you're afraid of being replaced by machines--there are simple, even childish things that our brains can handle, that computers simply can't! See, we are superior!!

Of course, the practice began well before James Tiberius Kirk was outfoxing Microsoft's best...hell, it's probably been going on as long as computers have existed in fiction.

Here's one example from 1951. Captain Reynolds of the space dreadnought Starling--because of course future Earth names their most deadly & powerful warships after tiny birds--is certain the Venusians are smuggling something to Polaris (whom we beat in the last galactic war). But what?

Yes, Earth won the war, so only Earth gets to have computers!! That will teach you to lose a war to us, inferior cultures!

But Reynolds is onto something, as the Polarans have been smuggling in the build their own thought machines!!

Wow. They invented Siri. Big deal...

Unfortunately, the thinking machine is kinda indestructible...and kind of contemptuous of Captain Reynolds!

Great laugh.

So, in the great tradition of "computers are so smart that they're actually stupid," Reynolds decide to Kirk the thought machine, more than a decade and a half before Star Trek:

Too bad the Polarans didn't have tech support on speed dial...

Yes, Because that's how computers work.

All hail the triumph of man over machine!!

From Strange Adventures #12 (1951), as reprinted in From Beyond The Unknown #2 (1969)

Manic Monday--How The Wedding Of The Century Won WWII!!

Do you want to know the real cause of Hitler's death?

Captain Marvel and Professor Sufoog have discovered an alternate Earth in the Macroverse (we're just an atom to them!):

Oh, dear, this is going to make Bizarro World looking straightforward, isn't it?

Well. Hitler Reltih has a secret plan to beat England Dnalgne!

Fortunately, the Big Red Cheese has a way to stop Reltih's plan!!

And so...

Holy moly!

After they return home...

One year later, Hitler was dead. Prove that it wasn't because Captain Marvel killed Reltih!!

From Captain Marvel Adventures #35 (1944)

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Raise The W!

Sorry, but there ain't gonna be no comic book post today.

To those of you not into the "sportsball" thing, well, my entire life has been an unending series of this:

Whereas last night, last night finally, there was this:

So I'm on no sleep and am extremely hung-over, and for one day comics books are taking a back seat.

Peace out.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Careful With That Axe, Eugene!

Man, they used to make romance comics that the guys could get into!!

For example, Vicki and Bob were going to get married...but:

A "cabin in the woods"? Oh, this bodes well!!

Well, a month later, Bob writes her and tells her that his health is restored, and he's ready to get married. So...

What could possibly go wrong?

It turns out that not Bob!!

Turns out that Dexter had escaped from a nearby asylum. But...what about Bob?!?

Not to worry...Bob actually survived!!

Don't do it!!

Holy crap!!

There's a reason only Captain America is allowed to do stunts like that, Dexter!

But of course, it is a romance comic, even if it is a particularly violent and gory one. So...


Of course, if I were Vicki, i would always have in the back of my mind..."Is this one really Bob?" Cue ominous music...

From Dear Lonely Hearts #6 (1954)