Saturday, January 21, 2017

Subtle Political Message Saturday--Titanium Man's Ride Home!

As you may recall from yesterday's post, Iron Man quite convincingly kicked the Titanium Man's butt.

No the big green goomba limps out to sea to meet with his submarine rendezvous...

Cold, man. Cold.

And maybe, just maybe, a lesson for certain prominent persons not to rely too much on their newfound Russian allies, because once you disappoint them, man, they'll throw you out to sea...

From Tales of Suspense #83 (1966)

Friday, January 20, 2017

Friday Night Fights--Gene Colan Style!!

Let me just say one thing--Gene Colan is the real shit.

His work on Daredevil in the 60s is terribly underappreciated, thanks to all the post-Miller focus on doom and gloom. Seriously, that era of the book is the forgotten gem of the early Marvel Universe.

And his work on Iron Man? Pure, insane, fluid beauty. As we'll see in this week's Friday Night Fights.

The Titanium Man tried to use Pepper Potts as a hostage against Iron Man. Well, he rescues her, and now it is on!


Spacebooger loves the sound effects.

Maximum punchage is from Tales Of Suspense #83 (1966), by Stan Lee, Gene Colan, and Gary Michaels

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Gene Colan, man...Gene F'ing Colan. So go vote!!

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Are You A Bore?!?

A fair question:

Wow, I should send away for that.

This ad was in Archie Annual #26 (1975). But lest you suspect this was some fly-by-night operation, they were still peddling the same spiel 15 years later:

That one was in the classified section of the Chicago Tribune (May 13, 1990). Almost identical language...without the odd art. Although note that they've moved their mail drop from Illinois to New Jersey...

So thank you, Career Institute, for helping generations of poor talkers to not talk so poorly!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Still, It's Better Than Cars. Or Cars II. Or Cars III. Or...

Inspiration for Wall-E?

BTW, far be it from me to criticize a picture everyone else loves for more than I, but Wall-E completely blows it thematically. After 90 minutes of railing against consumerism, it turns out that Wall-E is saved only because he practiced that same consumerism. If he doesn't collect and value that junk, he doesn't get his memory/personality restored at the end. So all that garbage that destroyed the Earth that the movie condemns is really the deus ex machina that gives the movie a happy ending, and consumerism is suddenly good.

I'm just sayin.'

The cover of Fantastic Stories of Imagination (March 1964) is by Paula McLane

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Your Tax Dollars At Work--Consumer Comix!!

And then there was that time a state government teamed up with an underground comix company to protect consumers:

No, really:

You'll need to click to embiggen that, but you'll see this is a joint publication of the Wisconsin Department Of Justice and Krupp Comics Works, which was the on-paper "parent group" of Kitchen Sink Comics. Which, in 1975, was like totally underground comics!!

No snark here, because really, this is actually pretty cool, and a lot more effective than other government-published comics.

Take, for example, this tale on how to deal with the scourge of the 1970s--evil door-to-door pot and pan salesman!!

This is The Man--sticking it to The Man!!

Other tales warned us of the perils of unscrupulous auto repair:

Credit scams that result in consumers paying a lot more:

Weight loss scams:

Unethical car salesmen:

The horrors of Columbia House et al:

Fly-by-night "educational" businesses:

...and more I'm too lazy to show you!

See, this is what these government/comic collaborations should be: important information without being (too) preachy, entertaining, a little more hip than most...Well done, people!

Consumer Comix was published in 1975

I'm Sure This Happens To All The Heroes!

Jay Garrick is running up a building to catch escaping thief Rag Doll...

Cue the soft jazz and dim the lights!!

Oh, admit it--on planets with super-heroes, this is how start, right? It's the Earth-2 equivalent of "hot pizza delivery man," right?

OK, I'm sorry.

From Flash #229 (1974)

Monday, January 16, 2017

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Hidden Benefits of Secret Identites!!

In these modern times, the very concept of secret identities have been called in to question. Why have them? Would they even work? Are they ethical?

But most people forget the single most important reason for heroes to have a secret identity: a masochistic desire to have the woman you love insult you to your face, again and again and again:

Oh, snap.

The gentleman (who yes, is indeed a man) is Caius Martius Wheeler, a cop from ancient Rome granted limited flying power by the gods, who was put into suspended animation for 2200 years, and re-awoke in 1940 to fight crime as The Dart.

His secret identity is a teacher of ancient Roman history, and the lady of his desire is fellow teacher Miss Tilbury. Yet she never, ever passes up an opportunity to tell both the Dart and Caius how little she thinks of the teacher:

I'm not even sure why the Dart has a secret identity--since he slept for two millennia, it's not as if he has any loved ones to protect in modern day.

Maybe he just likes the abuse?

Man, there's mild mannered, and there's 50 shades of Caius:

Geez. Even Clark Kent would at least report, and get the story in the paper occasionally. Not milquetoasty Caius...he seems to live for the abuse!

Of course, and maybe this is just me, it's hard to see why he's so attracted to someone who has absolutely no respect for him...

I guess he just needs the eggs.

So that's one solid reason for keeping a secret identity--so the woman you love can continually degrade you to your face!!

From Weird Comics #9-13 (1940-1941)