Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Bold Fashion Choices--The Red Skull Needs Help With His Laundry!!

Hey, Red Skull...

...we told you that you can't wash that mask with the rest of your colors!! Look want you've done to your cape!!

I mean, he has a pink cape! And belt! And gloves!!

Now, this isn't the real Red Skull, it's the 1950s version...and it's the 1950s Cap & Bucky, which would explain why they're not doubled up laughing at the Skull's wardrobe faux pas.

Anyway, the Skull gets away, and soon after a mysterious "informant" promises to lead our heroes to his lair:


Does it cross your minds that maybe, just maybe, he's the same guy whom you lasting saw wearing green pants and a pink cape? Or was there a raging fashion trend, and everyone was wearing those shades back then?!

Nope. It's the Skull.

Color-blind mice, at least!

Still, the Skull really enjoys his look!

From Young Men #27 (1954)

Bold Fashion Choices--We Miss You, Old Carol!!

I know it's just me, and I know it's not fashionable to say this...

...but I miss this costume.

And Dave Cockrum drew it so well!!

Anyway, this whole post is really just an excuse to show...

...to show Carol in that outfit versus a giant lizard guy!!

From Ms. Marvel #20 (1978)

Monday, March 19, 2018

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Real Reason The Germans Lost World War II!!

Gotham City, 1944. Batman is interrupting so Nazi nogoodniks:

Geez, if it takes you that long to say Batman's name in German, what would do if it were the whole JSA attacking?!?!

Gotta get more compact in your language, is what I'm sayin...

From The Brave And The Bold #167 (1980)

Manic Monday Bonus--I Will Have It. Oh Yes, i Will Have It.

Man, I need this more than I've ever needed anything in my life...

Now I've just to track down some leading department stores, convert those kid sizes into grown-ass man sizes, and scrape together $3.95...

From Master Comics #109 (1949)

Manic Monday--Marga Puts A Bite On Wildlife!!

You know whom we haven't checked in with for awhile?

Marga and her boy-toy, Ted Grant, have crashed their plane!


Holy pre-Code crap!!! Welcome to the working week!!

Does Marga have a pithy catch phrase after dispatching a panther with her bare teeth?!?



From Weird Comics #13 (1941)

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Spoiler Sunday--Lois, The Pulitzer Committee Wants Their Prizes Back...

Lois is having a reunion with her father, General Sam Lane--who in the Rebirth universe seems just to be a jerkwad, and not a sociopathic madman.

Of course arguments ensue, and we quickly get to the source of the friction between them:

Let's assume that no one was immediately endangered by Lois' piece exposing the operation.

But good gosh, Daily Planet--in what way is it remotely acceptable to let a reporter write about her own father?!? There are so many potential conflicts of interest, it doesn't matter how "well" the reporting was done--the very credibility of the piece, and the paper, is flushed away. How in the world could Perry White let that happen? No wonder no one trusts the media...

Of course, the argument circles around and around...until we get to the fact that Lois' "everyone answers to someone" conveniently doesn't apply to the Big S:

And he doesn't know the half of it--he doesn't know they've married.

Look, I know that, as the audience, we KNOW that Superman is a trustworthy dude (except for the times he's been controlled, or possessed, or transformed, or whatever). So we reflexively reject any character who says "But we shouldn't necessarily trust him." But such dramatic deck-stacking doesn't excuse a reporter blindly spewing it. For Lois Lane to make the argument that her values for press coverage magically don't apply to Kal-El--and conditioned solely on the fact that she knows him personally--is hypocrisy of the highest level. And honestly, it makes Lois look kind of stupid--can't she even come up with a better rationalization? Does she not realize that his first argument completely defeats her second argument?

And thee fact that they're married? Leave aside the issue of whether she should reveal his identity. The insane, unforgivable conflict of interest totally destroys any pretense of journalistic integrity.

What if we found out that a New York Times reporter were secretly married to a figure in the administration? What if she were secretly married to the Secretary of State, but still covered the Secretary of State for the paper? And she only gave him only good coverage, and explicitly argued to everyone that he didn't deserve scrutiny because he was just so awesome?!? Isn't that unethical on every possible level?!?Wouldn't such a reporter be exiled from the profession, not rewarded with prizes?

The way the media functions in a super-hero universe probably shouldn't be looked at too closely from a "realistic" viewpoint--like a lot of such conceits, it can't bear the weight. But when the comic itself invites it--when it explicitly posits a particular reporter as a bastion of journalistic virtue, as a rock star in the press, as an admired and much-awarded figure, as "the most important character in the DC Universe" (as some have opined)--then you can't just cough and politely look away when that character violates every journalistic principle there is, and actually boasts about it.

Of course, DC comics & movies have a long history of not understanding journalistic ethics, or how the press works. So, you know, this is really nothing new. But until someone does something about this--a new job for Lois? Have her restrict herself from covering Superman?--please, no more of this "she's the greatest reporter since sliced bread" nonsense.

From Action Comics #999 (2018)

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Argus The Many-Eyed Meets Diana The Many-Arrowed!

Argus The Many-Eyed plans to destroy Earth in 1946 by taking away mankind's fire!

YOW, he ugly!

Zeus has sent Diana The Huntress to shut down Argus' plan...


He's right, you know.

So Diana lines up Mercury's help...

HOLY CRAP!!! Whatta shot!!

Let's leave it to a male god to end the fight...with a joke!

Say, Mercury, some of us in the back row missed that joke. Can you make the exact same pun in the very next panel?

Thanks, Mercury!

From Yellowjacket #10 (1946)

Friday, March 16, 2018

Friday Night Fights--Punch Out Style!!

The fight doesn't always go to the strongest, as we see in this week's Friday Night Fights.

Gangsters have been using renegade scientist Dr. Karl Malus to create a cadre of super-powered boxers because...well, just because, I guess.

One draw back--they can't get anyone to spar with their enhanced palookas!

Enter a disguised Steve Rogers, working the case undercover!

Now, these enhanced guys are stronger than Cap...but nowhere nearly as smart or skilled...

Down goes Rollo! Down goes Rollo!!

Spacebooger doesn't want to upset you, but Cap never gets his $500!!

Eye of the Tiger in Captain America Annual #12 (1993), by Mark Gruenwald and David Wohl ("story"), M. C. Wyman (pencils) and Charles Barnett (inks)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? You don't want this augmentation stuff spreading to the Olympics, do you? Then help Cap, and go vote!

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Perhaps This Guy Was A Bad Example...?

Wow, what a crappy three days...

OK, perhaps I exaggerate.

Still, I did survive my hospitalization. But I've got a ton of diet/lifestyle adjustments to make if I don't want to prematurely join Mar-Vell. So my attention won't be fully on the blog for a few days. I imagine a thing or two will go up, with more-or-less full(ish) service next week.

Thank you to everyone for their kind words. And remember, take care of your bodies now, because someday they're going to turn on you, and you might not be as lucky as I was.

Monday, March 12, 2018

My Life Is An Episode Of House


I'm stuck in the hospital for a few days. Nothing too life-treatening (probably), but there won't be many posts here for the next few days.

Normal service will reurn to this cow-town puppet-show of a blog soon...

Sunday, March 11, 2018

The Super Boxing Chicken!!

Young Roberto Velasquez was a tiny boxer in Puerto Rico looking to hit the big time...

He's approached by a shady character...


Dr. Karl Malus "enhanced" him, because apparently the mob thinks there's big money to be made by sneaking super-powered boxers into regular matches.

But unfortunately, along with super-strength and near-invulnerability, Roberto finds that he's also prone to bouts of berserker rage, and in his first fight...

Well, that gives Roberto a pang of conscience, and he refuses to fight anymore. Which makes the sleazy crime boss unhappy!

But after "dying" and being dumped in the swamp...

Since this is the Marvel Universe, the only reasonable action...

...is to dress up like a chicken and beat up bad guys!

Now, a bantam is a miniature chicken, which is where the bantamweight class in boxing got its name (115-118 lbs). So, it sorta kinda makes sense to dress like a chicken, I guess...?

Anyway, he's pretty effective:

He meets Captain America, who gives him his blessing:

And thus is born: The Bantam!!

And no one would ever dare make fun of his costume...


Now, you would have thought that Bantam was poised for success: a good origin, decent costume (yes, even with the chicken), a recommendation from Steve Rogers himself...

Alas, it was not to be. That first appearance was Bantam's only appearance...until 13 years later, when he was gruesomely and graphically killed during Civil War. Look, kids--comics!!

This is why we can't have nice things.

From Captain America Annual #12 (1993)